Part Time Writer

by PJ Regnier

Trying to write and balance a full time job is tricky business. After a full day at work and spending time with family and friends, the day is usually spent. Making the extra effort to squeeze in writing time can drive you a little crazy. I usually end up talking to myself. Not out loud of course. I keep the psychosis under wraps. The responsible guy in me knows I need sleep for work the next day. The writer guy in me is more of a dreamer. He doesn’t like to think in practical terms.

Responsible guy and writer guy generally don’t get along. Their conversations go something like this:

Responsible guy: All right, it’s ten thirty. Time for bed.
Writer guy: What? It’s early. C’mon, we haven’t written all day.
Responsible guy: Maybe tomorrow. I’m tired.
Writer guy: What if Shakespeare said that? Look at the classics we would’ve missed out on.
Responsible guy: You haven’t read Shakespeare since high school. Plus, he actually made money with his writing. What did you make last year? Like forty five dollars, wasn’t it?
Writer guy: That’s because you keep going to bed when I could be writing. We just need to be more dedicated.
Responsible guy: My dedication is what keeps food on the table. You’d be writing on napkins in the alley if it wasn’t for me.
Writer guy: We have this conversation a lot, don’t we?
Responsible guy: Yes, now let’s go to sleep.
Writer guy: Wait. Let’s just write one page. That’s all I ask.
Responsible guy: You can’t stop at one. You’ll get in a groove and stay up until two.
Writer guy: No, I promise. Just one?
Responsible guy: And we’re in bed by eleven?
Writer guy: Done writing by eleven.
Responsible guy: Okay, deal.

Type, type, type. Tick, tock, tick, tock…

Responsible guy: Is that clock right? Twelve thirty five?
Writer guy: Don’t stop now. I’m totally in the zone.
Responsible guy: I have a big meeting tomorrow. I need sleep.
Writer guy: Just ten more minutes.
Responsible guy: Forget it.
Writer guy: We’ll take a nap at lunchtime.
Responsible guy: You always say that but it never happens.
Writer guy: Okay, five minutes and that’s it.
Responsible guy: Promise?
Writer guy: Of course.

Type, type, type. Tick, tock, tick, tock…

Responsible guy: Holy crud, it’s one thirty. I’m screwed.
Writer guy: Dude, totally worth it. That scene came out killer.
Responsible guy: I hate you. I’m going to bed.
Writer guy: Okay, okay. Good work.
Responsible guy: Yeah, yeah.

Snore, snore, snore. Alarm! Alarm! Alarm!

Responsible guy: Oh, man. It’s seven already. I am soooooo tired.
Writer guy: Just hit snooze.
Responsible guy: Forget it. You’ve ruined my day enough.
Writer guy: Just ten more minutes of sleep.
Responsible guy: I’m never listening to you again. I’m getting up.
Writer guy: Coffee. Must have coffee.